There’s a lot of exhaustion around at the moment. I hear it in conversations with clients, friends, and colleagues. It’s often mentioned in slightly hushed tones, almost like a confession. People are saying their nervous system feels fried, or that they’ve got nothing left in the tank.
There’s usually a layer of embarrassment with it – most people assume it’s just them. And underneath that, they don’t really know what to do about it.
So, let’s talk about it.
Because nervous system exhaustion is far more common than most people realise. And importantly, it’s not a personal failing. It’s what happens when a capable nervous system has been carrying sustained pressure for too long.
I’ve navigated nervous system exhaustion a few times in my life, even quite recently, and what most people don’t realise is where it can lead if it’s not addressed. Nervous system exhaustion is often the precursor to burnout. And because it develops gradually, it can be difficult to recognise until capacity has already been significantly affected.
Burnout rarely arrives overnight, even though it can feel like it does
Burnout is the accumulation of pressure on the nervous system over time. It often begins innocently enough – a busy period at work, a tough parenting stage, a bit of stress that seems manageable. But as weeks turn into months, and months into years, the nervous system continues carrying that load.
Gradually, capacity begins to lessen.
The nerves become more sensitive. The system takes longer to recover.
Things that once felt easy begin to feel effortful. Eventually, the body reaches a point where it can no longer continue in the same way.
That moment is what many people refer to as burnout – when the system hits a wall and stops itself because there is no more reserve left.
This isn’t weakness, its good old-fashioned physiology, with a big dash of self-preservation for good measure.
Not pretty, but so valuable to understand.
Stress creep – how burnout quietly develops
Burnout can ironically be a slow burn. It often develops through what I call “stress creep” – where stress accumulates so gradually that it becomes normalised. A higher level of tension, pressure, and exertion becomes your new set point, and so stealthily that you don’t really notice it.
The nervous system adapts, until it can’t.
Yale School of Medicine is a leader in the study of stress. Their findings show that prolonged stress (that is, stress that lasts for longer than a few moments) “can reduce gray matter in critical regions of the brain that regulate emotion and important physiological functions — even in healthy individuals.” Their research shows ongoing stress can make it more difficult to deal with future stress “particularly if the next demanding event requires effortful control, emotion regulation, or integrated social processing to overcome it.” (Emily Ansell, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry, Yale University).
In my experience this means over time, it takes less to overwhelm you, and more time to recover.
Eventually, the system protects itself the only way it can – by forcing a stop.
The dashboard was probably already flashing
Long before burnout arrives, the body usually offers us numerous taps on the shoulder. A bit like a warning light on your dashboard, the system itself is calibrating for how well it’s operating, what pressure it’s under and what it needs.
Those shoulder taps or signals can show up as symptoms like:
- Fatigue that doesn’t fully resolve with rest
- Headaches
- Brain fog or forgetfulness
- Loss of enjoyment in work or hobbies
- Feeling emotionally flat or unusually irritable or dread
- Needing more effort to do simple things
These might feel like inconveniences but they are messages.
If those signals are ignored, the body will escalate its intervention. It may roll out something that feels a bit more like a kick to the groin, to be graphic about it.
It’s entirely capable of finding a flu virus in the environment and taking you down for a week or two. Or it might show up as a longer bout of fatigue, heart palpitations, or persistent aches in the body that seem to come out of nowhere.
If those messages are still not heeded, they can become more unmissable. People often describe it as feeling like they’ve been hit by a metaphorical bus. In my coaching practice, I’ve seen this show up in very real ways – such as a business owner who unexpectedly required a heart stent, or individuals who wake up one morning and simply cannot get out of bed or leave the house. This is more common than most people realise.
The body will protect you, even if it has to do so dramatically.
The Invisible Condition
There’s a weird dynamic with burnout and nervous system exhaustion as they are often invisible from the outside.
A person may look completely fine while internally feeling completely depleted, fragile, or overwhelmed. Many people in burnout continue to function at a high level for a long time, masking the severity of what’s happening.
This sends others mixed messages – and even confuse the person themselves.
Recovery also takes far longer than people expect. Weeks or months later, others may wonder why you’re not “back to normal”, when in reality the nervous system is still repairing.
Sharing openly with trusted people about what you’re experiencing can make a significant difference. Support matters.
The sooner you stop, the sooner you recover
Unlike recovering from a cold or injury, nervous system recovery takes time.
The nervous system is responsible for regulating every major system in the body. When it becomes exhausted, recovery is measured in months – sometimes longer.
Continuing to push through when the system is already depleted often prolongs recovery significantly.
This is one of the hardest truths for capable, driven people to accept.
If you have a quiet sense that you are pushing beyond what your system can sustain, it is worth listening to that signal.
Stopping is not failure.
Stopping is intervention.
Stopping is repair.
There is no shame in burnout
Burnout can be profoundly humbling.
For someone who has always had plenty of get-up-and-go, who was capable and used to keeping things moving, it can be deeply confronting to hit a limit. I know this from my own experience. There were moments of embarrassment and fairly heavy judgement on myself for getting to that point. But none of that helped my body recover. It only added another layer of strain.
Self-compassion, on the other hand, became one of the most important allies in healing. Your body is not betraying you. It is protecting you.
Being in burnout is not a character flaw or a lack of strength. It’s a nervous system carrying more than it can.
When you look around, you’ll notice plenty of hardworking, capable people carrying significant pressure but without exhaustion. Some nervous systems tolerate that load more easily than others. In that sense, it’s not a question of resilience or willpower, but of individual capacity.
It also appears there can be a predisposition towards greater nervous system sensitivity. When I look across generations in my own family, there are clear patterns of nervous system-related conditions. This is no different to other health tendencies we inherit. It simply means the nervous system may require more care, more listening, and more intentional support.
Many people who experience burnout are highly capable, highly responsible individuals who have simply exceeded the capacity of their system – often without realising it.
There is nothing shameful about that. And there is no place for blaming yourself.
The one thing to do right now
If you are in burnout, or heading towards it, the most important intervention is simple:
Stop.
This may mean stopping work entirely for a period.
Or it may mean removing non-essential responsibilities, reducing workload, and creating space for recovery.
The nervous system simply cannot repair while it is still under continuous load.
Many people delay this step because they feel they “don’t have time”. From my observations, there is a point where one more week of pushing through can equate to many more months of recovery. That’s pretty time consuming.
Buy back some time – the earlier you stop and reset, the shorter recovery is likely to take.
How recovery actually works
Recovery from nervous exhaustion happens in phases.
The first phase is stabilisation.
This is where the nervous system begins to settle and rebuild basic capacity. Trying to return immediately to previous levels of output during this phase delays recovery.
Only once stability returns does capacity begin to expand again.
Recovery is not linear.
Some days will feel easier. Others will feel difficult again. This fluctuation is normal.
The nervous system is recalibrating.
Calming the Nervous System in 30 Seconds
Need to relax your nervous system? Catch my free online class here about settling the nervous system and activating the vagus nerve. I share a whole host of practical ways to settle your system down quickly, tools and strategies you’ll be able to use immediately.
What helps the nervous system recover
The most important principle in recovery is this: recovery happens when load stays within capacity.
This means supporting the body in ways that restore safety and energy, including:
- Prioritising rest and sleep – sleep is nervous system elixir
- Reducing workload and mental strain – sometimes dramatically
- Gentle movement such as walking or yoga
- Spending time in calm, restorative environments
- Breathwork, meditation, or relaxation practices
- Receiving appropriate therapeutic or medical support where needed
Equally important is avoiding the “boom and bust” cycle – doing too much on good days, and crashing afterwards.
Small, sustainable steps rebuild capacity over time.
A Simple Rule of Thumb
If something feels calm and manageable to your nervous system, it is probably supportive.
If it creates pressure, dread, or overwhelm, it is probably too much for now.
Your nervous system is an accurate guide. It knows.
Recovery begins with listening and self-compassion
Burnout often teaches us a powerful lesson: to listen.
To listen to the body.
To listen to limits.
To listen to capacity.
Self compassion becomes one of your most powerful allies in healing your body and restoring your nervous system.
Many people emerge from burnout with a far deeper relationship with themselves, and with a more sustainable and aligned way of living and working.
Not because burnout was desirable – but because it demanded change.
Becoming best buddies with your body, tuning into its subtle messages and shifts, is a superpower you will want to cultivate.
Our body is here for us.
Without it we would not be experiencing this precious human life right now.
I consider my body to be a sacred vehicle for my consciousness that I have learnt to honour, respect and nurture to the best of my ability.
My ability to do that has increased over time, and the more I genuinely care about myself, the more I take better care of my body.
A compassionate wake-up call
If you recognise yourself in these words, please take that seriously.
You do not need to collapse completely before taking action.
You do not need permission to rest.
You do not need to prove how exhausted you are before you are allowed to recover.
The nervous system can repair. The body can recover. Energy and capacity can return.
But recovery begins with responding to what your body is already telling you.
The sooner you listen, the sooner healing begins.
Let’s get super practical. Reflections for right now:
What are you realising you need to take off your plate – today?
Who in your life could you share honestly with about how you’re really feeling?
What is one small thing you could do today that would help you feel more supported, more resourced, or more at ease in yourself?
Pause for a moment and let your body answer, not just your mind.
Small, timely shifts can change the trajectory of your recovery more than major changes made too late.
If you would like guidance on supporting your nervous system and rebuilding capacity, I offer coaching and resources designed specifically for nervous system recovery.
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Karen
Top Tip – Full System Rest
Supporting your nervous system to repair is a top priority and to rest your body before it really needs it – before there is too much depletion. I learned about this concept when recovering from post-concussion symptoms and the importance of resting the brain. I’ve found that when it comes to recovering from burnout, resting the whole central nervous system is equally helpful.
To do this, the purpose is to make the body as comfortable as possible so the system is not working to process inputs, regulate your body temperature or be in any kind of exertion. Spend 30 minutes 1-2 times a day ideally resting in this way. Initially it may be helpful to do this four times a day. The aim is to nap, but you may doze or simply lay quietly.
Lie down in a quiet comfortable space with no sensory input – no sound, light or mental stimulus. Lay flat on your back, your palms facing up and a little out from your body, legs relaxed. Use an eye mask or a piece of soft cloth across your eyes, and use ear plugs or ear muffs. Have a light cover over your body to stabilise body temperature. Have a cushion or pillow under your knees if that supports your back.
If you wish to use your breath to help settle your body, breathe in through your nose for four counts and out for six, lengthening eventually to six counts in and eight counts out.
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